Dating Resolutions 2014

Online dating companies predict 2014 will be the banner year for the soul mate search, but too many people are willing to grab onto anyone, just to have someone. Your current squeeze may be sucking the joy out of you. Check out if any of these ring true. While I usually write from the female perspective, these same items can be true for men too.

1.       Your date/partner doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. Casual putdowns about your physical appearance or decision-making are a bad deal. The right person not only makes you feel great, but helps you to reveal your personal best.

2.       He/she doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated.

3.       No one likes him/her. You’ve introduced your newest crush to your friends, co-workers and relatives and they all give him/her two thumbs down. Consider that these people would like to see you treated well.

4.       He doesn’t do what he says he is going do. At first, you’re thrilled at all the super-romantic plans he makes for the two of you. He has yet to deliver on any of them. He’s a talker, not a doer.

5.       You find yourself attracted to other people. Get a clue. If you find others attractive, then he’s not doing it for you.

6.       Your find your date/companion boring.

7.       You find his interests stupid or boring. A couple doesn’t have to like all the same things, but when you disrespect his interests, it’s a sign you don’t belong together.

8.       You don’t see a future with him/her. Keep in mind you’re wasting time staying with someone who isn’t a keeper.

9.       You don’t trust him/her.  Trust comes before love. No trust, no love.

10.   Instinct. Sometimes we meet people and we know they’re bad news, but we try to rationalize why they aren’t.

11.   Any show of isolation or control. This comes as subtly as monopolizing all your time so you don’t see friends or family. He also discounts your friends’ opinions to move you away from them. This is the starts of an abusive relationship.

Okay, you know a few things to watch for when you start that soul mate search, but keep in mind it’s okay not to be part of a couple. Try to do things you want to do on your own. Make yourself happy, don’t wait around for someone else to do it. Finding the right person isn’t like the movies where the person shows up in the first twenty minutes after you decided to look.

People who decide what they are looking for have a better chance of meeting that person. Without predetermined goals, we drift through a series of people who may not only be wrong, but actually harmful to you.

Do what makes you happy first. Happy people are so much more magnetic than anxious hunters are. Once you meet someone suitable, remember first dates are for getting to know someone not pre-planning your wedding or future life together.